Gizem and Mehmet's Big Fat Turkish Wedding

Gizem's walk down the aisle was the last of many steps in the multi-year affair that was her marrying Mehmet. Before we'd even met, Mehmet and Gizem were wed in a religious ceremony. Last summer, I attended their French civil ceremony. Finally, last Friday, robed first in a sleek red flowing gown and later in an embroidered, sequined traditional red gown with veil, Gizem held her henna ceremony, a traditional Turkish pre-wedding celebration in which the women (or sometimes, these days, all wedding guests) gather to dance and place henna on the bride's hands. Historically, this was the time when the bride was introduced to her future mother-in-law. Each unmarried woman is also invited to get henna'ed. However, this is no Indian-style painting of delicate patterns on hands, feet, and arms.

Gizem 'in Kinasi: Gizem's henna ceremony, a traditional Turkish pre-wedding festivity for the girls

At the henna ceremony, a group of women dance circles around the seated bride while one carries a silver bowl filled with candles and green goop. (This, it turns out, is the henna.) After the dance, the woman with the bowl shares a few words with the bride before applying a large clump of sticky henna on each hand. The rest of the unmarried girls stick out their right hands, accept the glob, and do their best not to touch their faces for the next hour of so. Decorative palm-sized flowers on elastics can be wrapped around the hands to avoid any nasty spills. This cultural tradition stretches all the way across North Africa, as some guests explained to me, and the circular marks on the women's hands are considered auspicious for the bride.

Gizem 'in Kinasi: the pre-wedding henna ceremony

Finally, when the henna is done, Gizem was handed a clay jar which she held in front of her as she danced in front of Mehmet, until, in a surprise twist at the song's end, she smashed the jar at his feet and stamped on its shards, spilling the candied contents of the jar across the floor. This too, as I was led to understand, is a traditional Turkish practice.

Sticking with traditional wedding traditions, Gizem smashed a candy-filled clay jar at Mehmet's feet.

And finally, Sunday. The big day. Everything was perfect, from the palm-tree- and impatiens-lined passage to enter the reception, to the used book and lace-covered mason jar floral centerpieces, to the Turkish evil eye-bedecked trees, to that incredible watery walkway connecting the bride and groom's table to the dance floor.

Gizem and Mehmet's wedding

Most of the celebration was, in fact, surprisingly Western. But perhaps that shouldn't come as a surprise. According to turkishculture.org, Turkish brides have been wearing white since 1898, when the sultan's daughter brought Queen Victoria's wedding fashion trend to Turkey. One of the few noteworthy exceptions to the Westernization of the wedding was the official seal-the-deal kiss, which, by Turkish custom, was on the bride's forehead rather than her lips. The bridesmaids also wrote the names of all the single ladies on Gizem's shoe during the reception. The sooner a name is worn off during the course of the evening, the sooner the eligible lady will be wed. Speaking of the single ladies, their bouquet toss is preceded by a long dance in which the bride flaunts her bouquet over the crowd.

The bride flaunts her bouquet and playfully teases the single ladies before the toss.

Another neat touch to the Turkish wedding is the gift giving: it is traditional to offer the bride and groom gold coins and golden bracelets, but the gifts are only given when the bride and groom do their rounds (with a bridesmaid toting a basket in tow). This practice actually gives the bride and groom a chance to chat, however briefly, with all of their guests, which we really appreciated. And finally, there was the Turkish-style dancing, all in the shoulders and the arms, stiff enough (by Western standards) that Nicolas was even willing to have a go.

It didn't actually take too much convincing to get Nicolas into the photo booth. :)

Despite the language barriers with most of the guests, the wedding was a fantastic party, and a night to remember.

Mehmet and Gizem, the new Mr. and Mrs.!